your room smells of hookers.
And success
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
