I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize