I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
