if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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