he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
