I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
