I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
