And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
