I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
