Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
