problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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