On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
