Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
