belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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