im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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