chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Come on in and take your pants off
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
