There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
