Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
