i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
