So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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