Well douche your snatch and let's go!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize