Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
