they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
