So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
