Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
