I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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