I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
