I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
