i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
