she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
