O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
