i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
