You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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