Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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