It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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