I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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