By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
