speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
