my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
