? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
