So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
