We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
