There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
