Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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