508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
