12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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