Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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