If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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