I hate your face
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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