What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
