i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
