Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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