I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize