ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
