He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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