you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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