their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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