Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
