So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
