The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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